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Happy FIRST Birthday, Toby! 

Happy FIRST Birthday, Toby! 

Dear Toby,  Happy First Birthday, sweetheart!! I woke up today wanting to run to your room to sing you happy birthday and kiss your chubby cheeks. I'm sure Luke would be right at our feet jumping to grab you and singing with us.  We have spent nine months talking about you in between the sorrow, but in between the tears we've been imagining the milestones, too. Your first time rolling over. Clapping. Pulling yourself up. Holding your favorite toy for...

Nine Months

Nine Months

My Sweet Toby, We miss you so very much. I have spent this past week fighting the flashes of time. Fighting the pain that each memory brings. I have tried to prepare myself for this very week. But, as with the last nine months, there is no way to shield my heart from the pain that comes with the love we have for you, our son. We continue to have people tell us that you are in the best place....

I’ve Been Preparing for This Week

I’ve Been Preparing for This Week

....or so I thought. This time last year I was counting the last 7 days of being pregnant with our second baby boy. Thanking God for a healthy pregnancy, for a healthy baby, and praying for a healthy delivery. I have been preparing myself for this week for awhile. Praying. Writing. Meditating. Distancing. But I'm not ready. I haven't been able to walk into any room in our house this evening without crying. The memories. His beautiful smile. He was...

The Great Smoky Mountains Trip Highlights

The Great Smoky Mountains Trip Highlights

We were fortunate to be able to take a trip in March to Tennessee to visit and explore the Great Smoky Mountains. The mountains were good to us - we had an amazing time and will be returning (once a season if I had my wish). I wrote a series, being featured on Pittsburgh Moms Blog about our trip. It focuses on how family friendly this area is and all it has to offer from Pigeon Forge to Gatlinburg and everywhere...

One Year in Our Home

One Year in Our Home

Today marks one year of being home owners. That's crazy. I think about this time last year and we were so excited for so many things. I remember sitting in the car with Dan at Howard Hanna's office after we "signed our life away" and holding this ring of keys and thinking about what was in store for us. Our families thought we were crazy - buying a home and having a baby, within 10 days of each other, and...

International Bereaved Mother’s Day

International Bereaved Mother’s Day

"A mother is not defined by the number of children you see, but by the love she holds in her heart."  Today, May 7, is International Bereaved Mother's Day around the world. A day to recognize the mothers who have lost a child or children. A day to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to mothers with empty arms and a broken heart, that could be sitting right next to you.  Please take a moment to read my letter to...