Parenting

Today Is The Trigger

Most people would look at this picture and laugh. The lady at the grocery store probably looked at me, saw parents with two small boys and a grocery cart full of food and just chalked it up to motherhood. It’s not that. I woke every hour last night and kept checking the clock. Luke came […]

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Keep Me In The Moment

I am having a hard week. Each morning. Waking up. Getting ready for the day. It is my season of grief, which is heaviest because these are the days, when Toby was here with us, four years ago. I continue to think about what it would be like to have him here, with all of

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Looking for the Light

I’ve looked at this picture 100xs since Wednesday morning. I was up early and crying before I even lifted my head off my pillow. I miss Toby. I want to hold my son. I want to say “You’re four!” And see him smile or laugh at me. I want to hear him laugh. I want

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A Reason For The Season

Today we pulled out all our Christmas decorations. Luke went with me and we picked out a new tree. Yes, we are decorating our home for the holiday season. To some it may seem to early. To others they may say “You’re crazy” or “You’re missing Thanksgiving.” Actually, no, we’re not. We will celebrate Thanksgiving

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The Path of Transition

I’ve spent the last week swimming in baby items. Most of which were Toby’s. The switch over of the nursery has hit me in waves. I feel joy & love in my heart in places that have been so broken and painful for 25 months, it scares me. Then the pain begins and the tears

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To The Parents Preparing For School to Begin – A Note From A Grieving Family

Lucas will start Pre-K this fall. With his first school application, we had to write a letter about our family. I was absolutely not ready for this. I knew we’d have to do it one day and know this is only the start of these conversations with teachers, administration, coaches, and families that we will

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One More Moment

It’s the 24th again. Another milestone. But, not one where we can tell the world your new favorite book or food. It’s another month of you being away from us. It is also the month which starts the season that coincides with our time with you on Earth. Two years ago you were still safe

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