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Toby's Fourth Birthday Celebration

National Sibling Day

National Sibling Day

Today is National Sibling Day. ???????????? Today I want to take a moment and talk about our oldest son, Lucas. Luke turned two 10 days after Toby died. Many people said to us, when we expressed our fear and anxiety for him, "He's too young, he won't remember or understand." Well, I'm here to show you - you're wrong. He absolutely understands and he does not miss a breath when someone talks to him, or us, as if he is...

Hold Tight To Your Umbrella

Hold Tight To Your Umbrella

This little guy is 12 weeks old today. While this should be a celebrated milestone, my heart is heavy, my nerves are frazzled and on edge, and the anxiety running through me is intense. This was the last week we had Toby with us in our arms. Just a normal week, in our minds. Not knowing the plans God had for Toby and our family. Not knowing the events that would forever change our lives in 5 short days. As...

Memories, Emotions, and Signs from Heaven

Memories, Emotions, and Signs from Heaven

These last few days have been hard. I thought I was emotionally ready for the New Year, but my gosh, was I fooling myself. It’s been a series of small things that stir my emotions. Unpacking gifts for the boys; putting new clothes away for a 4year old and an infant, knowing there’s years of clothes in between that should be here, but they’re not. Birthdays for our nieces and friends babies. Watching Zeke grow by the week and seeing...