Happy FIRST Birthday, Toby! 

Dear Toby, 
Happy First Birthday, sweetheart!! I woke up today wanting to run to your room to sing you happy birthday and kiss your chubby cheeks. I’m sure Luke would be right at our feet jumping to grab you and singing with us. 

We have spent nine months talking about you in between the sorrow, but in between the tears we’ve been imagining the milestones, too. Your first time rolling over. Clapping. Pulling yourself up. Holding your favorite toy for the first time. Sitting up. Eating fruit – would you like bananas? We know from experience that Luke was not a big fan at first! Reaching for your toes and sucking on your fingers. We know that you are doing all these things in Heaven and we’re cheering you on here, on Earth. Even the ones that will be coming soon – your first steps! Your first words, probably dada, but I’m hoping for mama at a close second. Your favorite books or songs – give us signs to what those are and we’ll read them and sing them for you. 

Your brother adores the ground that daddy walks on. I have a feeling, from the bond that we shared, you may have been the one to be my shadow, my sidekick. But there would be no denying you were your fathers son. Identical twin, down to the natural hawk your hair had, from the moment it was brushed after a bath. You are so beautiful. 

You were the one that made us a family of four. You came into our family with such ease and – JOY! There’s no other word to describe it. You fit right into the mix from the day you were born and we continue to have moments, with each passing week, where that joy and synergy of our family of four is present in our home. 

We are so proud of you, Toby, for everything you did for our family and everything you continue to do as a messenger of Heaven for people here on Earth. 

Today, on your birthday, we will sing, have cake, light candles, have mass said in your name, cry, hug, celebrate and remember that perfect little boy that made us parents again. Made Lucas a brother. Made our family whole. 

We love you, Toby! Happy Birthday, my sweet boy! Today is your day – do something amazing. Enjoy your cake! Smile for mommy, daddy, Luke and the rest of your family and friends who celebrate your life and thank God for the 12 weeks you were here on Earth. 

More hugs and kisses than 12 months could hold – 

love, Mommy 

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