Support Us

My Battle With The Beast

My Battle With The Beast

August holds my fear. It holds my happiness and feeling of wholeness. August is where ‘who I was’ lives and ‘who I became’ appeared. August holds my sons last breath. It holds my whole heart. August holds captive my sons future and every motherly wish I could ever have for him. As I stand on the doorstep of another anniversary, I have started to wander into the past, hoping to pull with me each and every moment, no matter how...

God’s Timing

God’s Timing

I lay in bed last night listening to the rain on the windows of the house. The wind blew so fiercely it felt as though it was something swiping through the air, grabbing, lifting whatever it could – then it was gone. I listened to it for a few moments. It happened two, three, times. It felt like I was having a déjà vu moment. I closed my eyes tightly trying to recenter my thoughts, away from the weather outside,...

My Faith in God

My Faith in God

This has been a difficult week for our family. Grief is hard. It's exhausting. It comes from nowhere. No warning. And it stays, for as long as it likes. You can have a good moment and the next you are crying. That happens with me a lot. Your body can ache from the physical pain of grief, not just pain from your heart. We pray for strength. We pray for understanding. We pray that Toby sees every tear that we...

Nine Months

Nine Months

My Sweet Toby, We miss you so very much. I have spent this past week fighting the flashes of time. Fighting the pain that each memory brings. I have tried to prepare myself for this very week. But, as with the last nine months, there is no way to shield my heart from the pain that comes with the love we have for you, our son. We continue to have people tell us that you are in the best place....

International Bereaved Mother’s Day

International Bereaved Mother’s Day

"A mother is not defined by the number of children you see, but by the love she holds in her heart."  Today, May 7, is International Bereaved Mother's Day around the world. A day to recognize the mothers who have lost a child or children. A day to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to mothers with empty arms and a broken heart, that could be sitting right next to you.  Please take a moment to read my letter to...