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This Season of Grief

This Season of Grief

I’ve had to pray a lot more (than usual) this past month. I know I’ve talked before, but this is my season of grief. These are the days when the pain hits hard. Like take me to my knees, not able to catch my breath, pain. I spent two weeks writing the names of over 100 babies for us to honor during Wave of Light vigil and I found myself wondering about all of them. Did they know Toby? What...

The Photo Shared ‘Round Steeler Nation

The Photo Shared ‘Round Steeler Nation

The last six hours have been nothing short of amazing. Dan and Luke went to Latrobe today to watch Steelers Training Camp, as they’ve done the past few years. Luke handed out Terrible Towels to Steelers fans as they arrived with Toby’s Random Acts of Kindness cards, in memory of his brother. Dan sent me some photos and I decided “on a whim” to tweet the photo and tag the Steelers and a few players, telling what this amazing 4...

40 Owlet Smart Sock Placements To Start Off 2019

40 Owlet Smart Sock Placements To Start Off 2019

What a way to kick off 2019!!! 40 Owlet Baby Monitors are on their way to Toby's Foundation! It's our largest order to date and we can't wait to get ALL of these placed in the first months of 2019! ❤️???? Applications are open on our website for anyone interested in an Owlet Smart Sock. Here are a few tips for applying and rules that our Foundation follows when reviewing and placing our Owlets: ????Applications must be submitted through our...

My Battle With The Beast

My Battle With The Beast

August holds my fear. It holds my happiness and feeling of wholeness. August is where ‘who I was’ lives and ‘who I became’ appeared. August holds my sons last breath. It holds my whole heart. August holds captive my sons future and every motherly wish I could ever have for him. As I stand on the doorstep of another anniversary, I have started to wander into the past, hoping to pull with me each and every moment, no matter how...

21 months & Lots of Prayers

21 months & Lots of Prayers

Guys! It’s official - The Little Fox | Toby’s Foundation is incorporated & approved! ???? In just two weeks time all of our paperwork was reviewed and approved. We were told to not expect anything for 6-8 weeks. As soon as I started to read the letter last night I thought “This is all Toby’s doing. He’s opening doors again!” He knows his momma and she can’t wait for anything, especially when there’s work to be done, families to help,...

20 Months of Emotion

20 Months of Emotion

When I first started my professional career I told my mom, “I’m going to have my own company in my 30’s.” I wanted it to be a combination of marketing and community involvement. I never could have predicted that my company would be founded in memory of our son. We never could have predicted how August 24, 2016 would alter our lives. We could have never imagined the impact that Toby’s life would have on so many people and families....

Learning to Live

Learning to Live

Life is hard. Grief is harder. It gets worse before it gets better. This makes everyday challenges & situations sharper and hard to not take directly to heart. I look around the world some days and then I look at Luke and think “Am I doing this right?” Honestly, some days I’m not sure. My heart has been very heavy lately. Some days I feel like I’ve been pulled back into the first few weeks without Toby. It’s scary. It’s...

God’s Timing

God’s Timing

I lay in bed last night listening to the rain on the windows of the house. The wind blew so fiercely it felt as though it was something swiping through the air, grabbing, lifting whatever it could – then it was gone. I listened to it for a few moments. It happened two, three, times. It felt like I was having a déjà vu moment. I closed my eyes tightly trying to recenter my thoughts, away from the weather outside,...

Unexpected Triggers

Unexpected Triggers

For my latest article for Still Standing Magazine, I wrote about one of the unexpected grief triggers that has continually paralyzed me throughout these first 12 months of grief.  You can read the article here:  An Unexpected Trigger

Month 11: Grief has a mind of its own

Month 11: Grief has a mind of its own

Grief has a mind of its own. It has a way of rearing its head at a time that catches you with your guard down. It leaves you alone with your thoughts and deeply sad. Grief over these last four weeks has been quite harsh. Moments which have remained frozen or numb in my mind are starting to resurface and rather than the very familiar sting that comes daily with memories, they hit hard, take away my breath, and bring...