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This Season of Grief

Posted on by 4Cadmin

This Season of Grief

I’ve had to pray a lot more (than usual) this past month. I know I’ve talked before, but this is my season of grief. These are the days when the pain hits hard. Like take me to my knees, not able to catch my breath, pain. I spent two weeks writing the names of over 100 babies for us to honor during Wave of Light vigil and I found myself wondering about all of them. Did they know Toby? What...

What’s Heaven Like?

Posted on by 4Cadmin

What’s Heaven Like?

I wonder if it’s always sunny in Heaven? Does it get cold? Do you help the Angels make snowflakes before they fall to earth? Does Heaven have a Spring season? Or do the flowers always bloom anew? Do you have a bedtime? What size shoe do you wear? How fast can you run? And do you like to jump in puddles? I always thought you’d be a baseball player. That you’d be our boy who was the all-star pitcher. I...

#GivingTuesday – Here is Our WHY.

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

#GivingTuesday – Here is Our WHY.

We had a whole vision for #GivingTuesday, but life happened and our little one ended up spending the past few days in the hospital. As I was thinking about this campaign last night, my heart kept coming back to our life the past few days. So I will share our story - our WHY. Zeke, Toby's brother, started showing signs of a cold while we were traveling for the holiday. Not sleeping, fever off and on, runny nose, all around not...

The Photo Shared ‘Round Steeler Nation

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

The Photo Shared ‘Round Steeler Nation

The last six hours have been nothing short of amazing. Dan and Luke went to Latrobe today to watch Steelers Training Camp, as they’ve done the past few years. Luke handed out Terrible Towels to Steelers fans as they arrived with Toby’s Random Acts of Kindness cards, in memory of his brother. Dan sent me some photos and I decided “on a whim” to tweet the photo and tag the Steelers and a few players, telling what this amazing 4...

Third Star To The Right

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

Third Star To The Right

Today marks another month without our son. It marks more milestones and brings with it more triggers - second spring break trip; first trip with the kids to DC; laughing with cousins and pictures where Toby’s always missing. Luke reminded us multiple times today that you are here with us and there have been little signs while we’ve been away that tell us you’re never far away. I sat on the train on our ride back today, listening to Luke...

Learning to Live

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

Learning to Live

Life is hard. Grief is harder. It gets worse before it gets better. This makes everyday challenges & situations sharper and hard to not take directly to heart. I look around the world some days and then I look at Luke and think “Am I doing this right?” Honestly, some days I’m not sure. My heart has been very heavy lately. Some days I feel like I’ve been pulled back into the first few weeks without Toby. It’s scary. It’s...

Stern Family’s Donation Fills Children’s Section Book ‘Wish List’ at Monroeville Library in Memory of Infant Son Toby

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

Stern Family’s Donation Fills Children’s Section Book ‘Wish List’ at Monroeville Library in Memory of Infant Son Toby

On Saturday, Nov. 4th we visited the Monroeville Library and met with Nicole Henline, Director. Following our book drive in August during Toby’s Random Act of Kindness Campaign, 24 children’s books were purchased, by friends and family, to be donated to our local library. It was a bittersweet moment to make this delivery. We were able to meet with Adrienne & Hope, who oversee the Children’s Section and Programming. They were excited to see all the titles and new books...

Month 14

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

Month 14

I love this picture. It is one of the last pictures we have of Toby. I remember this moment so vividly. This was the first time we put him in this chair - and he loved it! He sat up so well and he giggled looking at the little toys attached to the top. Luke and I laughed with excitement, watching his eyes open really wide and looking at us, being so proud of what he was doing. I look...

My Faith in God

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

My Faith in God

This has been a difficult week for our family. Grief is hard. It's exhausting. It comes from nowhere. No warning. And it stays, for as long as it likes. You can have a good moment and the next you are crying. That happens with me a lot. Your body can ache from the physical pain of grief, not just pain from your heart. We pray for strength. We pray for understanding. We pray that Toby sees every tear that we...

12 Months in Heaven

Posted on by The Little Fox Foundation

12 Months in Heaven

My sweet Toby, I have dreaded this day. I have tried for a month to get my thoughts together for this day, but every time I’ve sat down to write, only tears come. It isn’t writers block. It’s grief. It’s anger. It’s rage. It’s absolute heartbreak. [caption id="attachment_1268" align="alignnone" width="960"] My running partner. {August 18, 2016}[/caption] I sat on the back porch last weekend. The sun felt different. The smell of the air gave me chills. There was silence. I...