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This Season of Grief

This Season of Grief

I’ve had to pray a lot more (than usual) this past month. I know I’ve talked before, but this is my season of grief. These are the days when the pain hits hard. Like take me to my knees, not able to catch my breath, pain. I spent two weeks writing the names of over 100 babies for us to honor during Wave of Light vigil and I found myself wondering about all of them. Did they know Toby? What...

My Battle With The Beast

My Battle With The Beast

August holds my fear. It holds my happiness and feeling of wholeness. August is where ‘who I was’ lives and ‘who I became’ appeared. August holds my sons last breath. It holds my whole heart. August holds captive my sons future and every motherly wish I could ever have for him. As I stand on the doorstep of another anniversary, I have started to wander into the past, hoping to pull with me each and every moment, no matter how...

21 months & Lots of Prayers

21 months & Lots of Prayers

Guys! It’s official - The Little Fox | Toby’s Foundation is incorporated & approved! ???? In just two weeks time all of our paperwork was reviewed and approved. We were told to not expect anything for 6-8 weeks. As soon as I started to read the letter last night I thought “This is all Toby’s doing. He’s opening doors again!” He knows his momma and she can’t wait for anything, especially when there’s work to be done, families to help,...

Little Pieces of Light & Peace

Little Pieces of Light & Peace

As Lent began, I searched for my focus for the next 40 days. I was looking for something that I could “do” that would help me in my grief, but also something that would help provide little pieces of light and peace. When we moved into our house last year there were two cardinals that would fly into the tree in front of our window in the family room. Every time we saw them we’d always hurry to the window...

All the Love

All the Love

To the new mom who is running on two hours of sleep; no shower in a few days; same clothes you slept in from the day before; three week old baby asleep on your shoulder and the living room in front of you a mess from toys your two-year old has been playing with – I’m praying for you. To the new foster mom in line at the store. Your cart not only filled high with food, clothes, winter jackets,...

A New Endeavor

A New Endeavor

I have spend the last few weeks very focused in prayer. That was one of my small goals for the year. It has been normal in these times to also talk to Toby. Tell him what is on my heart and ask for guidance or some sort of sign as to whether or not I should even be carrying whatever it is that is heavy on my heart and mind. An opportunity presented itself at the beginning of January as...